Magnificent and terrible

This trail is breaking me. It’s bending and stretching, pushing and pulling. It’s making look deep into myself, at the broken parts that clatter inside me with each step. I’ve realized that I’m cranky when I’m tired, snappy when I’m hungry, groggy when I’m hot, and generally unpleasant when I’m a combo of them all. Getting acclimated to a lifestyle I haven’t lived in almost two years is uncomfortable. It’s painful physically and mentally. But so worth it. So stoke worthy. So magnificent. Being dirty constantly and endlessly tired is a awesome. It sucks and it rocks and it’s awful and it rips in all the right ways. The good outweighs the bad. And each time I think my feet are too tired to take on another step, that my shoulders hurt too much to carry my pack another inch, I realize why I’m out here. That this experience is so extraordinary because it hurts so much. Magnificent because it’s terrible. Wonderful because it’s awful. Great things are only great because they’re equally terrible. And that’s where we’re at. The crossroads of terribly painful and simply magic. And by golly it’s incredible. I’m here for it, I’m stoked, and I’m fully totally and completely up for the challenge.